kelly corrigan podcast transcript kelly corrigan podcast transcript
We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. Kindly, Touching on themes like self-belief, resilience, humility, and justice, this series normalizes the human condition and emphasizes our capacity to grow. Theyre poking for that critical difference to hold on to, and I wanna hug em, and say, I know. Kate Bowler:Yeah. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. To learn more about Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Things Im Learning to Say, click here. Im Kate Bowler, and this is Everything Happens. Kelly reads everything from eulogies to retirement speeches and on February 19th, she . Kate Bowler:Wow, and thats a big word. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. I think people think that if you have a diagnosis, or somethings happened to you that you should know because youre proof of it. Im so sorry youre not going to like any of my answers. Kelly Corrigan:Where you can feel the person kind of asking around, snooping just enough, and its not for your sake. Simply becauseIts like this or, my current favorite: Its a species behavior., Nan, Thanks so much for your refreshing, poignant, thought-provoking podcast. 00:35:25 - Annie Jean Baptiste in the Head of Product Inclusion at Google where she spends her time thinking about the products we use very day and how who's a I think we make life a little more interesting! Like the other day when I was being wheeled into a procedure, the nurse looked at my chart, and then casually said, Colon cancer. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. So Kelly, welcome. In fact Im in the middle of reading both of your books right now. It kind of reminded me though, when I was little, my family used to have these mottos, but the mottos were stuff like, Dont get crumbs on the baby, or Be nice to mom. It just ends the tension because what youre saying is, I see it how you see it, and I agree with you. Mom, we cant sell family, right? I looked at this sweet-natured adorable little puppy and acquiesced. Take care, Whos going to do this? Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. Gratefully, Minds dont rest. Go get mixed up in something. By creating an account, you acknowledge that PBS may share your information with our member stations and our respective service providers, and that you have read and understand the Privacy Policy and Terms of Use. I think thats cause we were always sort of fighting nearby. If you haven't heard of Father Greg Boyle, let us introduce you: a Jesuit priest who has a touch of Santa Claus in his affect, Greg Boyle has collaborated with thousands of former gang members to build thriving businesses and communities of radical acceptance in East LA. Kelly Corrigan:And Im getting to walk with them way longer on their road, and I felt this sense that I could never possibly deserve that, that Im not that great a person, or a mom. We should thank the chef. I went to see her one time. She reflects on her love and loss through ordinary moments and everyday sayings. Michael Lewis sends his thanks to Dr. Arthur White, a former history teacher at Isidore Newman School in New Orleans, Louisiana, for kicking him in class whenever hed fall asleep. Shed do anything. Forever? Kellys guest is actress and author Constance Wu - you may know her from her roles in the breakthrough tv show Fresh Off the Boat and the blockbuster film Crazy, Rich Asians. You cant only experience deep gratitude at the toenails that you seriously wish someone else would have cut, because seriously, whos doing this around here? Kelly Corrigan. So, I was wondering, would you mind reading that beautiful passage you wrote about after Liz died? The reach of language can be laughable.. Make the magic happen. Teri Rose wrote this loving remembrance of her son Ryland. Kelly Corrigan:And I should not lose my mind over a shirt I bought on final sale section that didnt fit even though I tried to pull it over myself, and then it got stuck on me, and I had to cut it off with scissors. She reflects on her love and loss through ordinary moments and everyday sayings. She was really, really into manners, and as kind of an act of gratitude, not in an uptight, British way, but as a Look at us eating a meal together, like, Nobody should eat before the last person gets down. And then right on the heels of that, I think, What would Liz do for this?. Kelly Corrigan:And thats the truth. She had ovarian cancer, so she had fought it for seven years, and it was the kind of thing where I felt like I urgently wanted to deserve my life. Just get in the mix, get in the line of fire. Kelly Corrigan Wonders Weekly series started Oct. 4, 2020. Kate Bowler:Well, your book has such a wonderful collection of phrases around essays, stuff like Tell me more, and you write about incredible things people can say when theyre figuring out the road ahead. Kate, Together, Kate and Kelly explore the phrases we cling to in order to find deeper connection and meaning during difficult times. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah. Okay, great. She has been called the voice of her generation and the poet laureate of the ordinary, and she is the most perfect person to talk to to kick us off because her lovely new book is called Tell Me More, and Tell me more is one of those phrases she uses, phrases that she writes about that help guide her through relationships, and parenting, and grief. Kate Bowler:Yeah. We have a lot to learn from you. This is me writing a letter to Liz, and I wrote the whole thing, and I cried my eyes out the whole time I was writing it, and wiping my nose, and blowing my nose, and sitting back down, and Edwards like, You all right? And Im like, Im all right. Ten days before I was scheduled to defend my dissertation, English Policies, Curricular Reform and Teacher Development in Multilingual, Post-colonial Djibouti, I got the call. You also realized there was incredible parenting magic in the phrase, Tell me more. So, what is this witchcraft you speak of? Onward, my dears. Youve shared some gems with us. I had to make it into a vest to remove it from my body with the tag still on it, you know? Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. Ask anyone who has participated in a moment of silence. After the potency of the crime metaphor wore off, I turned to the vocabulary of religion. Kate Bowler:I dont think Ill like it, but I will think of you when I do it. I end up saying to my therapy clients, to my friends, and to my daughter both Change is hard and the stage-specific version of CIH, Middles are awful. Middles are awful: we have to either find language for an ambiguous state or give up on finding it: hard, sweaty work. And the potted plant theory, I cant credit it to someone, Im sorry, I dont know who put it out there, but the idea is that if you were to have a plant in your kitchen, you might not be aware of it at all, and then if someone were to remove it, youd say What happened to that plant?. Kate Bowler:Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, God is generous was my dads way of promising us a better future. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. Claire, Dont worry, and she said, Well, my problem is I cant zip my dress by myself, so I thought if it was a woman, I could ask her to come in, and zip my dress, and I thought, Thats the tiny moments that are so gut-wrenching for a new widow. Is this how you would have cared for my son?, and you end up fixating on all of these tiny little things, and at the same time, so overwhelmed by not being sure if its trivial or tragic. Theyre poking for that critical difference to hold on to, and I wanna hug em, and say, I know. My mantra for the last decade plus has been show up and be of use. Kelly Corrigan:Like, Oh, well we still have sex, so were definitely not going to get a divorce, or you know, Oh my husband doesnt travel, so then were definitely not gonna get a divorce, or you know, I never smoked cigarettes, so Im definitely not going to get breast cancer. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. The Best Show with Tom Scharpling. You might actually give somebody a chance to discover whats really bothering them, and in that discovery they might find their own solution, but the fact is that if you can bite your stupid tongue, and get over yourself, and just keep eliciting their whole story, then the next thing you know, their mood is changing, and theyre feeling more solution-oriented, and then they get the buzz of solving the problem. This interview is perfection. I love it that it gives up perfectionism, and it just says, Hey, whats possible today?. Copyright 2023 Public Broadcasting Service (PBS), all rights reserved. Hosted by four-time New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan, the show features insightful conversations with notable guests, reflecting on their lives and the impact they can have on their worlds. One of the hardest things Ive been wrestling with is not having any clear language for this weird place between sick and healthy, weak and strong. Hosted by Tom Scharpling and featuring celebrity guests, music, callers, and plenty of surprises, The Best Show streams live every Tuesday night on Twitch at 6pm PT and is available on your podcast apps the next day. -Kilpy Its a very learned thing that I have to insert the words into my mouth, and push them out deliberately, because my instinct is to solve. Today, Im speaking with New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Corrigan. So, Dont eat a hamster is our version of Dont jump to conclusions.. Kelly Corrigan:And so I didnt do it. So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. So, thats just the question in front of all of us. Alex, The name is a lyric from . I didnt make her final days one bit better, and I lived there for two years. Corrigan and her guests meander with insight and humor toward that inevitable moment when you think, "Exactly!" The Best Show with Tom Scharpling a day ago I really appreciate it. Thank you for helping me think more deeply about my words; not just the words I speak to others but the words I speak to myself. Kelly Corrigan:Where you can feel the person kind of asking around, snooping just enough, and its not for your sake. Kelly has also agreed to be my friend as part of her contractual commitment to this podcast. You start with, Its like this.. Then the ocean with its waves so vast, impossible to touch bottom, then a maze, then a mountain, then seasons, a natural disaster. For awhile, Id say shed been robbed, or ripped off. She was really, really into manners, and as kind of an act of gratitude, not in an uptight, British way, but as a Look at us eating a meal together, like, Nobody should eat before the last person gets down. Kelly Corrigan:I didnt die. You know, I honestly think I only say Im sorry, and not, I was wrong. I think I might try it. Team Everything Happens. Maybe you want to borrow one of Kellys like, Its like this, but youre totally welcome to borrow my familys motto: Dont let the turkeys get you down. Its tried and true. Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. Im so compassionate to that thing that happens every time you tell someone that you had cancer, which is the other person trying to figure out why its not going to happen to them as fast as possible. Constance shares her experiences as an actress in Hollywood both on and off screen: the privilege and responsibility of representation, being a true artist, navigating social media and an incident which took her to a very dark place.Special thanks to PBS for supporting Tell Me More and this podcast series. But I asked the doctor what the right term for me might be, and he said Survivor-in-progress, which was super annoying. Kelly Corrigan is the best-selling author of "Tell Me More: Stories about the 12 Hardest Things I'm Learning to Say," and a proud graduate of the University of Richmond. We were living in Damascus, Syria, and whenever one of us asked for something Mom and Dad couldnt afford, Dad would say Allah Kareem. In Arabic, Allah means God. Im so sorry youre not going to like any of my answers. You are everywhere they are., Kelly Corrigan:I really believe that, even though Im skeptical, and Im mad at people who say, Her spirits still here, and stuff. Kate Bowler:Yeah. I even use it at the end of lectures like, Hey, this is the end of the 19th century. Suddenly, just showing up was in question. Recently I coined maintain the faith, exit with grace. Kelly Corrigan:She cant wear half her clothes because she cant zip them by herself. At a time when so much feels unex Kelly Corrigan:But you know, if Im jumping in with my fancy solution two and a half minutes in, I just cut you off, and then we leave each other, and I have this little high like, Ah, I just really helped her, and she walks away thinking, She didnt hear anything I said. I should not be mad about this. Inspiring and thought-provoking interviews conducted by bestselling author Kelly Corrigan. You dont have to bring it all. Read more on this here. Kilpy Kelly and Kate Bowler dive into that phrase so often offered up to explain bad stuff: "everything happens for a reason." Kate is a divinity professor at Duke University and the bestselling author of three books. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. Kate Bowler:Words matter. Labels like chronic illness, or caregiver, or widow, or mom of a kid with special needs. CW: death of parent, death of friend to cancer. For awhile, Id say shed been robbed, or ripped off. I loved this episode! Today, Im speaking with New York Times bestselling author, Kelly Corrigan. I was wondering if you could tell me about that. I didnt do it. That kind of belonging is transcendent, and you just feel it pop up in these little moments. Sadly, our family motto was, Youll pass in a crowd if the crowds big enough. My mothers mother didnt want her to get a swelled head, and she passed that down to us, her four daughters. Kelly Corrigan:I know, me too. Kate Bowler:So, todays conversation is about developing language to move us forward when life is well, chronic. They reel and wander and fixate and roll back and reconsider, because its like this, having a mind. Kelly Corrigan:I sat at my dining room table, which is place I never write, and I thought, Oh my God, of course I know exactly what this is. Thats where its at. Ive read Tell Me More twice already. You are in good company. Its a sin, its hell. Those ordinary consonants and vowels that, when strung together, offer meaning and points of entry for others. Kelly Corrigan:Its like a game changer. You can watch this episode of Tell Me More anytime at pbs.org/kelly.Thank you also to the Lafayette Library and Learning Center. I love your book and your honesty as I keep questioning everything. Kelly Corrigan:So, I say at the end of this chapter, Shouldnt loss change a person for the better? Ill read you a little bit from the very end of that chapter because the thing that he was saying I think is, This is how it goes.. 295 Episodes Produced by Kelly Corrigan Website. I was wrong, and that is very soothing, but then that took me back to this moment where I had gone to work for United Way after college, because I was going to save the world, and I was this total do-gooder. We can remove the first video in the list to add this one. Kelly Corrigan:So, I get it, but I spend a lot of time with them, and Im madly in love with them, really, really have this deep, incredible connection with them that I just value so much, and they are in her, and you know, theyre everything that was so important to her. Like, Im just an ordinary person, and I make all the mistakes that everybody else makes and maybe even 10% more, and then there she was, and what she would have done for the life that I was kind of rushing through, multitasking my way through day, after day, and you know, sort of feeling snappish, and then catching myself, and feeling like I should be different. Kelly Corrigan:Like, almost every time Im sure that if you just let me take over, I can make this problem go away. Kelly Corrigan:My instinct is to fix, cause I feel Im almost sure I can. Kate Bowler:Thanks so much for doing this. She's a podcaster. We had several hamsters in one cage, and they can be cannibalistic, and one morning a hamster was missing, and another hamster had a suspiciously large tummy. Hopefully youve continued to connect with Kate and Kellys books. So, I kind of wondered if there was a motto youd pick for you for right now, what would it be? You say something thats so weird cause I say it all the time, so when I read it I thought, Did you reach inside my brain? You adopted the phrase, Onward as a bit of a motto. Im hearing all the music, Im totally tuned in to the right channel, and then just like that, I slip into those mundane irritants., Kelly Corrigan:And then I catch myself, and then I feel this sense of shame, and he said, Its like this. Duration: 3:0 Transcript HARI SREENIVASAN: Now to another in our Brief But Spectacular. And she said, Kelly, Im going to try to do the Uber to this wedding, and I was wondering if you can request a woman, and I said, No you cant, but you can trust it. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, thats where it is. I dont have the genetic predisposition. I do need to be reminded of this often There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. Its all this cumulative effect of a thousand minuscule moments. Thanks for sharing. More lessons learned. Now, eleven years post-cancer, Im still learning to show up and be of use in my life, my marriage, my family and my work for the display of His splendor. Its these seemingly trivial moments. Kelly Corrigan:So, I had to wait, and then finally we had a window, and I said, I was wrong. Okay, but Im just telling you those kids are waking up every day without her, and theyre going to keep being without her forever. Kelly Corrigan:I mean, unless youre a monk, and youre meditating for 60 days in a mountain somewhere. Kelly Corrigan:So, my dad died in February, and then my friend Liz, whos the mother of three kids, 8, 10, and 12 at the time, died that December. Its probably cause of something youve been eating. I was wrong not to go visit her. Kelly Corrigan:Im telling you what, man, you can not believe how much I use this, and you can not believe how still it is not my natural instinct. Over 50 & Flourishing with Dominique Sachse. Ask the dancers, and the athletes, the painters, and musicians. Ill read you a little bit from the very end of that chapter because the thing that he was saying I think is, This is how it goes.. But the fact is if I said, Tell me more, go on, what else, youd say the next thing, and the next thing, and the next thing, and it would be like the thing behind the thing, behind the thing is where really the pain is, and if I had waited way longer, I wouldve been able to say, Oh, I understand.. Thats where its at. Kerri, In, warm, insightful, often funny conversations, Kate talks with people about what they've. We should hold hands for a moment, as a way of marking the glory of a family dinner, and they do that. So, its funny that that phrase really begat the whole book in a way, because I had been feeling this shame about not really earning my days here, and then Ed and I were at dinner, and we were talking about the difference between saying Im sorry, and saying I was wrong, and I was saying, God, its so much more powerful though in the humility in saying I was wrong.. Then I wanted to get right with him, and urgently. Kelly Corrigan:Its like a game changer. So much of what you both say resonates for me. Kate Bowler:Today, I get a chance to talk to Kelly about some of her very best phrases. You say something thats so weird cause I say it all the time, so when I read it I thought, Did you reach inside my brain? You adopted the phrase, Onward as a bit of a motto. Kelly Corrigan:Yeah, and theres forgiveness and acceptance kind of intertwined there that you know, youre going to forget. I mean, I dont know why you went with, Everything Happens for a Reason, because Dont get crumbs on the baby, that could be the follow up. Kate Bowler:Yeah. Its the motto I live by when my opportunities are too big, and my capacity and capabilities too small. Wondering if youve come across Bahai writings as I find them inspiring in building a circle of friends, a community and help each other grow together. Hes just one of those people that you think, God, if I could get five minutes with him, Id just tell him my biggest problem, and hed just say something in seven words that would solve everything., Kelly Corrigan:So, eventually I went up to him, and I said, Im caught between these two worlds, this world where Im full of clarity and insight and gratitude, and Im seeing all the big colors of the world. You also realized there was incredible parenting magic in the phrase, Tell me more. So, what is this witchcraft you speak of? I absolutely love that phrase. Its really wonderful to learn more about you and hear the ways youve connected with Kate and the book. Kelly Corrigan:Well you know, its so funny. On Sundays, Kelly records a special podcast called, "Thanks for Being Here" where she reads the toasts and tributes that listeners have submitted about those they love. So, maybe when life is chronic, we all need some sayings to anchor us, our very own mottos that guide us through. She's an author. Thank You for all you do!! They swell, and constrict, and break, and forgive, and behold, because its like this, having a heart. Join New York Times bestselling author Kelly Corrigan as she choreographs big-ideas conversations with some of the creative thinkers and artists who define our time. She's a daughter who still mourns the loss of her dad, a mom to her amazing daughters, a wife to her fantastic husband, a sister, a good friend, and a woman trying her best to leave this world a better and a brighter one for future generations. Its probably cause of something youve been eating. Kelly Corrigan:So, this was about all of these people calling me to say, I heard your friend died. Corrigan, a New York Times bestselling author, gives her Brief But Spectacular take on the power of words. RELATED LINKS Try this episode's happiness practice: 36 Questions for Increasing Closeness Read Kelly Corrigan's new book, Tell Me More Transcript Tell Me More with Kelly Corrigan is a series that inspires, educates and entertains. P.S. I think part of why your book is so moving is the way that these sayings crystallize these really big truths about who we are, and also how we should love each other. Welcome to Kelly Corrigan Wonders, a place for people who like to laugh while they think and find it useful to look closely at ourselves and our weird ways in the hopes that knowing more and feeling more will help us do more and be better.
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